Monday, October 24, 2016

Coming Of Age Draft

As I’m am getting out of my dad’s car, walking to the gym ready to play my game. I was hyped to play against this team and thinking that I was going to do good like the past games that I played. I was thinking right when I saw the team I was challenging that my team and I was going to beat them so bad and I was going to have a better game than the ones I had in the past. When I went inside the gym I see my teammates and I told it is going to be a easy win.

Right when I step on the court, shaking the others team and hand fisting the refs I was ready to play and blow the other team out. On the tip off my teammate tip it to me and I dribbled the ball and right when I was by the defender I lost the ball and I thought it was going to be okay because it was just one. But then the next trip down the court when I went to pass to my teammate and the person who defended my teammate stole the ball and scored. I was feeling a little frustrated because it was 2 turnovers right when the game just started but then I was bringing the ball down I drove aggressive to the basket and shot the ball and it went off the backboard really hard but then I keep on missing and whenever I drove in the other team would foul me. I was complaining to the ref that he fouled me and the ref didn’t care about it so i got more frustrated about it because the ref wouldn’t call any fouls for me, I was turning over the ball a lot, and my shots weren’t going in.

When second half started I thought I was going to be better but that didn’t happen it was the same as the first half turning over the ball and shots not going in. When the game was over I was crying and all mad because I did bad and we lost. Going home I was still crying about how I did and my dad talking to me and saying good that you are crying because that means you have a passion for basketball.  After what he said when we got home I was thinking about the game and I could not sleep that night. The next day I went straight to the park and started to practice my dribbling and shooting and even though the days I never go to the park I still practice my dribbling and shooting even though I didn't have a basketball hoop. I knew I was determined about basketball because the next day I had that bad game I wanted to get better and what I could improve on. The next game we had I don't even look at the other team or talk to any of my teammates, I was just focused on what I had to do this game for my team and I to win. With that game I scored with 14 points with less that 4 turnovers and a win for my team and I.

That game that I did bad in is the most important game I had because it showed me that I was determined to get better even though I had a bad or a good game I would still need to go to practice so I could improve my dribbling and shooting so I could be a good dribbler like the pros and a good shooter like a pro. Now every game I have I scored at least 10 points or more but I still not satisfied with that because if I want to go to the next level for basketball I have to score over 20 points.  

4 comments:

  1. I like your measage that the loss taught you to try and keep getting better. There were some run on sentences that can be shorter. Also, you said the same thing in a sentence a couple times.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I feel like you could explain more about how this experience helped you to come of age. There are good descriptions about your game, but you can add more commentary about what you were thinking and how that game made you feel. Overall, good job.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The story is very descriptive, but you may have given a little too much details and not enough commentary/reflection. I recommend reading the comments I gave on Zak's post as you folks share similar difficulties in the essay.

    -Coby

    ReplyDelete
  4. YOUR ESSAY HAS VERY LITTLE REFLECTION AND THE REFLECTION THAT YOU HAVE WHICH IS IN THE VERY END IS NOT COMPLETELY EXPLAINED. YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN AND REFLECT THROUGHOUT YOUR ESSAY WHILE YOU DISCUSS THE EVENT SO THAT WE DONT JUST READ ABOUT IT VERY QUICKLY AT THE END. TELL US ABOUT WHO YOU WERE IN THE BEGINNING OF YOU ESSAY AND THEN REFLECT ON HOW YOU ARE NOW IN THE END. THERE IS WAY TOO MUCH STORY AND LITTLE TO NO PERSONAL REFLECTION. AS(2)

    ReplyDelete